The Punk Krow Musical Throwdown

  Part 1. Kylie vs Morrissey That Voice – It is rather astonishing that in a musical career lasting 30 years, Kylie has a voice that wouldn’t be out of place if it came out of an animated sea otter in a Disney movie. It is as substantial as candyfloss, as deep as Donald Trump. Hear it acapella and you’ll be begging for the backing track to return and hold that voice up again before it collapses in on itself. It is inoffensive but that will garner you nil points from this armchair critic. I suppose it is the perfect vehicle for middle-of-the-road bubble-gum pop tunes to truck their way into the consciousness of gym users in Milton Keynes as they weakly pump iron and Kylie can hit a few high notes but Billie Holiday she ain’t. In summary, this is the voice you might expect to hear coming out of a five foot nothing Aussie girl doing karaoke in a roadside bar in the outback but somehow it has ventured out across the globe to millions of listeners – like it or not. Recognisable?...

  Welcome to the all new, all brilliant, completely immodest Punk Krow Musical Throwdown This is the official launch of my new concept where I will be taking on… musical culture! Yes, musical culture! Each week I will be pitting two icons – from the pantheon of modern music – against each other to determine who is the very best. Each cultural behemoth will be judged using the following criteria: ·        That Voice – Could it be reading a shopping list and we’d still be spellbound? Or does it strip paint from forty yards distance? ·        Wordsmithery (lyrics) – Take away the musical background and what stacks up on the page? Can the words survive without the noise or will they wither in the silent empty white space like an abandoned penguin chick? ·        Pound of flesh – The voice may be that of an angel but what is the artist prepared to do with the fleshy vehicle of the body in s...